family-affair

I feel compelled to write but not because I have anything to say.  I don’t want to lose my audience.  I also don’t want to bore you away so it would behoove me not to write just for the sake of writing.

There have been a couple of things pressing on my mind that I’ve been meaning to write about but for some reason just haven’t.  I finally figured out that reason-accountability.  If I put it out there I can’t take it back.  Then people will start asking me if I’ve acted on my plans.  This is an uncomfortable area for me.  I can make plans for grand things-fundraising, missionary work, planting a garden, doing the laundry-but once I tell people my plans they expect me to follow through.

My children are an excellent example.  If I say I am thinking of taking them somewhere they will not forget it.  They’ll forget that I told them to put their shoes away ten times in a row but they will remember that 2 months ago I mentioned the possibility of going to the amusement park.

So I keep many of my loftier ideas to myself.  I don’t doubt my ability to accomplish said tasks.  I am just truly lazy and if I don’t like doing what I’ve started I’m committed to finishing it.  This is a conundrum, a perplexing predicament.

One of the many lessons I’ve learned in the past year is that stepping outside of my comfort zone has brought me immense joy.  Still, taking that first step on faith is scary.  Well, here goes.

I have an idea for a new small group I would like to lead at our church.  This is where people join in a more intimate community than the Sunday worship service.  My target audience is homeschooling moms and stay-at-home moms with small children still at home who don’t like to leave their children in the nursery.  I want my small group to be a place where mothers can support and share with one another while furthering their relationships with God.  And all of this can take place with our children present.  The children will be able to play together while watching their mothers share in authentic community with other Christian women.  This will benefit both mothers and children, affording both the opportunity to make new friends in a safe environment.  The first course of study I want to embark on is prayer, using the text When Mothers Pray.  I read this book back when we were trying to conceive our second child and it changed my prayer life as well as my life overall.

Another area I am struggling with is how and if I should minister to a particular person.  I have only met this person once but have learned of her needs through a friend.  She is constantly on my mind and I worry about her.  So I pray because I know that worrying won’t accomplish anything.  Still I want to reach out to her but I don’t know if she is open to hearing the Gospel.  I sent her a letter and a gift through my friend and never had any response.  There was one time I thought I was going to get to meet with her but we were cut off by the weather.  So I am sitting here being a chicken.  The truth is that this is a HUGE thing and I don’t want to muck it up.  I don’t want to go to her unprepared to answer her questions should she be receptive to what I have to share.  I was advised to pray about it.  I need to pray for God to give me the words to say or whether I should approach her at all.  Perhaps prayer is the right thing for both of us right now.  Either way if I don’t ask I may never know.

A major impact of my improved prayer life is that I do get answers.  Perhaps I am afraid that God will give me the thumbs up to move forward with both of these projects and then I’ll really be on the hook.  It’s not so easy to say “No” to God.

Tomorrow I am off.  Ok, I know you’re thinking, “But, Kathleen, you’ve always been off.”  This time I’m getting off the ground.  I’m flying to California to spend 2 days with my dear friend and her daughter who are flying in from S.C.  We will spend our time together at the Disney parks, soaking up sunshine and lots of food.  I expect to undo a lot of the good work I’ve been doing with my workouts and diet but I’ll get right back on track when I return home.  I promise! 

Everyone have a beautiful weekend.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS